From Pakistan to New Jersey: Embracing Education No Matter Where You Are

This day, International Women’s Day, and every day, WAGE embraces the value of education no matter what that may look like. This blog was written by a college student in New Jersey who is now an intern for WAGE.

Education has always been important to me and my family, and my parents instilled this value in all their children, my brothers and I, from a very young age. Being the oldest, and the only daughter, I was expected to set an example for my younger siblings, and that included doing well in school.

My parents are both very highly educated, and they went to school both here and in Pakistan. My father received a master’s degree in Pakistan in physics, and then went to Syracuse University in 1992 to obtain yet another masters, this time in telecommunications.

My mother went to graduate school in Pakistan to get a masters in geography. Having gone to school both in the United States and in Pakistan, I thought it would be interesting to ask my dad about the difference in experience between both countries.

 After complaining about the cost of tuition in the United States for some time, he told me that he valued his education at Syracuse more, and he felt lucky to have that opportunity.

Pursuing a higher education is daunting task, as is immigrating to a different country, so I imagine the culmination of both left him feeling overwhelmed at the time. He admitted he felt as though he had to work harder, study more, and pay more attention than in Pakistan, but he felt very fulfilled with his schooling.  

He ended up being awarded both teaching and research assistantships that covered most of his tuition and was offered a job almost immediately after graduating. My mom, who came to the United States after my dad started his job in 1996, always had a passion for learning. Even now, decades after finishing her degree, she continues to take one-off classes on topics that interest her. She currently teaches kindergarten age children, and I have never heard her complain about it once.

When I was younger, my parents always made sure I was doing well in school. They helped with my homework, kept up with my teachers and counselors, and brought me to my tutoring classes.

In middle and high school, I was always more invested in my humanities classes, and I didn’t connect with what I was learning in math and science. When it was time for me to go to college, I was weary to tell them that I wanted to major in political science, and forgo the pre-med or engineering route.

Despite my hesitation about telling my parents about the path I wanted to pursue, they were very supportive and told me they wanted me to excel in my education, no matter the major I chose.

Initially, I had thought that I wanted to go to law school, so I chose a concentration in legal studies. After a few semesters, I realized that I was more stimulated by my international relations and politics courses. I felt similar to how I felt at the end of high school--I was weary to tell them about the change of plans, but again I was met with encouraging words.

 Now that I am in the last semester of college, I am doing a bit of reflecting on my experience. I struggled in the beginning, as most do, but I am lucky to have had a strong support system of friends, professors, and of course, my family.

Many women and girls do not even have the option to pursue an education, and it is even rarer to be surrounded by people who motivate and uplift you through all your hardships. I had my parents to show me the success and fulfillment that education can bring, and this idea should be universal. This is why WAGE’s mission is imperative; strengthening and creating education systems for women and girls will lead to a better future for them, and for all of us.

—Areebah Zia

Mentoring: From Darkness to Light

By Heather Mistretta

"There is no darkness but ignorance."—Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

Over 400 years ago, Shakespeare challenged his readers to embrace knowledge, calling ignorance the darkness that is the weapon used to oppress, abuse and stifle. The longevity of his words alone speaks volumes and the lessons they have taught today.

As National Mentoring Month nears its end, I am reminded of the countless mentors I am grateful to have had throughout my life, those vehicles of knowledge both big and small—from the Sunday school teacher who empowered me to belt out “Jesus Loves Me” when I could barely say hello to a passerby to my dogs who inspire me to live in the moment and relish it to the colleagues and academics who challenged me to strive for more and dare to step outside the box to the friends who believed in me even when I didn’t.

Each one has played a part in shaping me into who I am, and I’m grateful for all of them.

Mentors come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They are a crucial part of our development and learning. They instill confidence, impart wisdom and sometimes are the listening ears we need to keep moving forward. Sometimes they are intentionally in our lives like a teacher or an older colleague, but those indirect mentors like an older person who shares a memory or a mother of three children who returns to attain a college degree in spite of obstacles can sometimes be just as important.

One of the most important lessons we learn from mentoring is that it’s okay for us to ask for help, particularly for women and girls who may sometimes be afraid to appear helpless or vulnerable or feel as though they are opening themselves up for failure.

As I said, I am grateful for all the mentors I have had in my life, but I’m also grateful to have the opportunity to impart some of my experiences into the lives of our youth through WAGE’s mentoring programs. Every time I am reminded of how mentoring is always a mutual experience.

I remember this past summer how each week we visited a school in Asbury Park to share a little bit about global and local heroes like Cesar Chavez or Penelope Lattimer, take part in an art project and share a snack.

But perhaps the most rewarding part of the day was the conversation, those times when the children afraid to open their mouths for fear of rejection would share a word or two, or the young woman who passionately shared that she aspired to be a fashion designer. She had it all planned out how she would eventually be known as a fashionista as she worked on building her own business! In the face of all the abject poverty, violence and lost dreams around her, the confidence she exuded along with enormous compassion was quite inspiring to me! But equally as important was the young man whose voice had been stifled by domestic violence who opened up to share one element of his life in private.

We are celebrating the 20th anniversary of National Mentoring Month this January, but it is believed that the concept of mentoring originated with the character of Mentor in Homer’s Odyssey. In this saga that dates back about three thousand years ago when stories were spoken, not written, Odysseus entrusts his young son, Telemachus to be taken care by the Mentor, his trusted companion, when he goes to fight in the Trojan War.

Fast forward to the 1970s when businesses more openly recognized the benefits of “mentoring.” Since then, it has burgeoned into a crucial part of an employee’s development and a way to strengthen relationships and opportunities for our youth. It has the power to make them feel empowered, encouraged and understood.

Mentors don’t have to be rocket scientists or Plato prodigies. Mentors can be a helping hand or a lending ear to someone in need, someone that a young person who has been dealt an unfair share of rejection and mistrust a healthy dose of hope and trust.

In those darkest moments in our lives, it may seem as though there is no way out or it may seem just too scary to travel down that dark path, but those glimmers of hope tucked in the caverns of that dark path can sometimes be enough to guide us into the light and a brighter future.

Through WAGE, we are trying to be the best mentors we can be. Let us know if you’d like to get involved!

Important Stuff

Stuff. What is it? When it comes to financial matters, “stuff” consists of bank statements, brokerage accounts, life insurance, health insurance, retirement accounts and of course taxes along with the documents needed to prepare them.

All too often a client will call with upsetting news about their spouse becoming ill or even death. As upsetting as this news is to receive, the person left behind is now solely responsible for the household finances. A problem almost always arises because the healthy or surviving spouse is completely unprepared to take on this new role.

I recently received a phone call from a potential new client whose world was turned upside down after the death of her spouse. This person had no knowledge of their bank accounts, savings accounts, retirement accounts, life insurance, health insurance nor taxes.

The famous words, “my husband took care of all of that stuff,” were already being spoken in my head. However, with the review of their most recently filed tax return and a look at their checkbook and bank statements, I was able to figure out their receipts and disbursements to a point where I compiled a list of all these items.

But, there was another problem emerging in the background that unleashed itself about two weeks after the passing of her husband. An IRS notice indicating over $80,000 was due for taxes in arrears. This woman was beside herself. She not only had no money to pay the tax bill but also had no idea they jointly owed this money to the IRS. I asked, “Did you not review your tax return before signing it”? Again, those same words were being spoken in my head, “my husband took care of all of that stuff.”

The point here is to educate yourself on your finances. Whether you are single, head of household, married with a family or just the two of you, education is key. It is ok for one family member to take care of the household bills, but make sure you discuss them regularly.

Know where to get the banking information, know your life insurance, know what investments you have by reviewing monthly statements and most of all, review your tax return together. Today, most, if not all tax returns are e-filed. Make sure you understand it. Ask your tax preparer to review it with you. Be aware of any tax due because if it is a jointly filed return, you are responsible for it whether or not you are aware of its contents. Both spouses must sign Form 8879 which equates to your signature for that year’s return.

No matter the life situation, there are many other reasons besides illness or death why educating yourself on your financial affairs is vital. It can help with managing money, setting long-term financial goals, or just simply understanding credit. Financial literacy can be achieved together!

—Lorraine Lang, CPA

Stay tuned for a comprehensive financial literacy plan coming soon from WAGE!

A Jug of Positivity

Have you ever heard the fable about the woman and the wine jar? As the story goes, a woman, who liked wine, found a wine jug by the road. She hoped it was full but it was not. At least she got good memories through sniffing the jug.

Although this story can have a multitude of interpretations, it always reminds me of the power of our minds and how thinking about something positive or “good,” can be almost as good as the thing itself. When dealing with anxiety, the ability to redirect our thoughts is extremely important towards making oneself begin to feel better.

You see, it’s very simple – when a person suffers from excessive anxiety, the focus is on what COULD happen, which isn’t always the same as what WILL happen. Think about it, isn’t it always easy to imagine the worst of any situation? To be so stuck on what’s going to go wrong you lose sight of any possibility for success? This is how we become paralyzed in our thoughts and trapped into a spiral of negative thinking. “I know I’m going to fail this test.” “”I’m never going to be in a serious relationship.” “No one is going to want to pick me for their team.” These negative thoughts become the mantra we sing to ourselves so often we begin to believe it.

So how do you combat this? Well, think of the fable – even though there was no wine in the jug, the woman’s positive thoughts (her memories) were good enough for her. Even though the mind is a miraculous thing, it still has limitations. One being, you can’t think about negative things and positive things at the same time. Therefore, a good way to challenge growing anxiety and negative thinking is to begin to fill your mind with positive thoughts to combat the negative one.

Don’t focus on what could go wrong, focus on what could go right. Think back to times where you had similar or even harder challenges, and were successful. A positive mindset can lead to positive outcomes. Start using those positive thoughts and memories as the fuel to begin challenging that negative, irrational thought with positive, rational thinking. Asking yourself questions like: What are some clues that your worry will not come true? If your worry does not come true, what will probably happen instead? If your worry does come true, how will you handle it? Will you eventually be okay?

After you answer these questions for yourself, you’ll slowly start to see that your worry will begin to change. Hey, if thinking about positive memories worked for the lady in the story, I’m sure that it can also work for you!

—Arthur Howard, WAGE board member and outpatient therapist at Millhill Child and Family Development

Making the Invisible Feel Visible

To the more than 4.5 million Native Americans in the United States today, we support you, and our eyes and ears are wide open to your struggle that is generations deep. We are so grateful for the rich culture, wisdom and courage you represent, and one of our goals will be to refill the cavernous hole that exists in our history.

As the late poet and civil rights activist, James Baldwin once said, “Neither love nor terror makes one blind: indifference makes one blind.”

For Alvin Deer, memories of his daughter, Michelle are bright and filled with happiness but lurking behind that joy are memories of sorrow and pain. In 2006 Deer’s 33-year old daughter, who was part of the Kiowa, Caddo, Wichita and Muscogee tribes, went missing, her body found shot in the face and neck on the side of the road. Years later her father is remembering his brave daughter who shortly before her death made the decision to seek treatment for her addiction before leaving behind six children and joining a staggering statistic that also includes Ida Beard, Aubrey Dameron and countless others. May 5 marked the fourth anniversary of the day designated as the National Week of Action to honor and call for justice for missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls (MMIWG) by the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.

For the Native American community, this is just one more way they have been made to feel invisible, which many see as the modern form of racism against the community. Because Native Americans are often “invisible,” so are their struggles.

The murder of Michelle Deer happened thousands of miles away, so for some it may be easy to turn a blind eye. But imagine being one of the more than a million American Indian and Alaska Native women aged 10 to 24 who have died from violence but whose case is never solved. Imagine being a victim of COVID-19 and instead of being included in a separate column labeled Native American, you are among those in the “Other” column. Imagine being told as a child that you need to “act more American” so that you can fit in, or that you need to abandon or suppress your culture in school so as not to disrupt the school day.

In talking with many Native Americans over the past year, it became evident that almost every one of them felt invisible, a sobering reality that many say leads to their vulnerability.

The murder rate of Native women is more than 10 times the national average. These disappearances or murders are often connected to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, stalking and sex trafficking. Despite how high these statistics are, they cover only a small percentage of all the Native women who are victims of violence every year. Many of violent crimes do not end in murder, but most studies show that four out of five Native American women experience violence in their lifetimes.

And as the chokehold of the pandemic strangled the freedoms of many, reports of all forms of violence against women and girls, particularly domestic abuse, began to rise.

But time and time again Native Americans are ignored, told to be compliant, keep their histories to themselves and made to feel invisible in spite of all the contributions they bring. There are more than 570 federally-recognized tribes, which of course does not count all those who are not recognized. With these many tribes come their own cultures, languages, spiritualities and histories. In spite of over 600 years of occupation, Native Americans continue to make enormous contributions to the church and to civil society.

It has been said that this feeling of invisibility along with unresolved historical trauma passed on from generation to generation, widespread poverty and healthcare disparity lead to this higher incidence of violence.

Native American women endure appalling levels of violence. According to the National Institute of Justice, about 84% of Indigenous women experience domestic violence in their lifetimes, and more than 50% experience sexual violence.

In recent years, Native Americans have become more vocal about this epidemic, causing some politicians to turn their attention to the issue. Now with a champion and Native American in their corner, Native Americans are hopeful that substantial change is on the horizon.

The new U.S. Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland said, “In spite of our agonizing history, Native American people find much to celebrate. The songs, the dances, the culture and traditions surrounding planting and harvests, the prayers that are sent upward for healing and peace, and the welcoming of children into our families, are all reasons for us to keep moving forward with optimism.”

Haaland’s appointment represents hope for undoing destructive policies, and it represents renewed hope for the land and for the Indigenous nations of this country. In an effort to provide more resources to investigate thousands of unsolved cases of missing and murdered Native Americans, on April 1 she launched a new Bureau of Indian Affairs unit.

Without the proper resources like access to healthcare or adequate transportation, victims are often lured into cars. According to the Urban Indian Health Institute, homicide is the third-leading cause of death among American Indian and Alaska Native women aged 10 to 24. But without assistance from non-tribal federal, state and local agencies, these cases have gone underfunded and uninvestigated.

This past March, Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA), chair of the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions (HELP) Committee, Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) and Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) re-introduced the Survivors’ Access to Supportive Care Act (SASCA), a bipartisan, bicameral bill to help improve and expand access to healthcare services for survivors of sexual assault, who face steep challenges in being able to get medical care and sexual assault examinations critical to their ability to seek justice. The bill will develop national standards of care for survivors of sexual assault, strengthen the sexual assault examiner workforce and expand access to sexual assault examination services—including to rural and Tribal communities, and for higher education students.

Haaland also announced April 22 that she is creating a joint commission, led by the Department of the Interior and the Department of Justice, to identify and curtail violent crimes targeting Indigenous women. Her action stems from the enactment last October of the Not Invisible Act, which calls on the Interior Department to oversee grants and programs to tackle the crisis.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home -- so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. [...] Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world."

At WAGE, it is in these small places that we have hope that we can be part of the change.

Our new Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland has said, "If we're not protecting our women and we're not protecting our girls and we're not protecting the most vulnerable people in this society, who are we as a country?"

—Heather Mistretta

Seeing Women Through the Lens of Many Women

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a writer like Margaret Mitchell. I would create book after book, sometimes written with a crayon and sometimes fastened with tape. Ne’re a piece destined for the literary canon. But to the people who loved me, they were masterpieces. I was encouraged to be the best I could be, and I was often asked the question, what do you want to be when you grow up?

My world, no matter how small or imperfect it was, was full of opportunity, full of promise. My future was there for the taking. My life would later take some sharp turns I would have rather bypassed, some hills that proved to be harder to climb than others, but opportunity was still an option.

But halfway across the world or down on the other side of the equator, there were women for whom opportunity was not part of life, chasing dreams was never part of education and the future looked scary or highly unlikely. Our lenses of the world were far different, colored with different experiences, beliefs and influences.

Today is International Women’s Day, a day when women across the world are celebrated no matter what lens they are wearing. But with the cohesion that women bring, with the weight that women shoulder and with the courage and compassion that women around the world dig deep in their souls to find, women are changing the world every day.

Whether it is the women in South Africa defying the scourge of gender-based violence or the counselors in the past year who stay connected to their clients who face the threat of domestic abuse while quarantined at home.

As the chokehold of the pandemic strangled the freedoms of many, reports of all forms of violence against women and girls, particularly domestic abuse, began to rise. As the problem escalated, champions for human rights held on tighter and listened longer. They extended the web of support to reach as many as they could.

Projects like The REDress Project, which is doing its best to address violence against Native American women, ramped up their efforts as the need grew. In a population where women are three times more likely to face violence, the need has never been greater.

Like the famous writer, Gabriel Garcia Marquez said, “To oppression, we respond with life.” Throughout history trailblazers have paved the way for others to follow. They have provided opportunity for those being oppressed. They have infused life. The reverberations of those initial calls to action and the courage that has ensued ever since are seen through the lens of many women throughout the world.

This year’s theme for IWD is “Women in leadership: Achieving an equal future in a COVID-19 world.” The theme celebrates the tremendous efforts by women and girls around the world in shaping a more equal future and recovery from the COVID-19 pandemic.

Today is the day we recognize disparities like the representation of women in national and global COVID-19 policy spaces in spite of the fact that they make up the majority of frontline workers.

But today will become tomorrow and tomorrow will become the next day. Today is just the start. Change can happen anywhere, anytime. It is time for us to see the world through the lens of many women, recognizing our differences and then embracing them. It is time for us to remove our masks that hide our insecurities and accept our flaws as part of who we are.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home -- so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. [...] Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world."

At WAGE, it is in these small places that we have hope that we can be part of the growth, one word at a time. One way we are doing that in 2021 is by broadening our outreach to specifically include Native Americans as the pandemic bears down on their communities to reveal an epidemic of violence.

—Heather Mistretta

Standing up for human rights

More than 260 million (~14%) children around the world are being deprived of an education, an inalienable right for many but a distant dream for many others. Over half of these are girls, and 75 million are out of school because of conflict and natural disaster. The staggering statistics seem unfathomable to most of us who enjoy a steady dose of structured education, clean running water and a safe place to live and thrive. But the blinders need to be removed, and the boundaries determining who is able to receive an education need to be razed.

December 10 marks Human Rights Day 2017. In 1948 the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, a milestone document that proclaimed the inalienable rights which everyone is inherently entitled to as a human being -- regardless of race, color, religion, sex, language, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. It is the most translated document in the world, available in more than 500 languages…and for good reason.

Drafted by representatives of diverse legal and cultural backgrounds from all regions of the world, the Declaration establishes the equal dignity and worth of every person. Although a solid foundation was built, its promise is yet to be fully realized. But there is still plenty of hope.

As we approach the document’s 70th anniversary, it is time to embrace its power and value and realize that equality, justice and the freedom to learn prevent violence and sustain peace. The principles written decades ago are timeless despite the changing landscape of our world. We need to stand up for our own rights and those of others. We can take action in our own daily lives, and rally others to do the same.

This is a humanitarian crisis, but it is also an epidemic that needs to be resolved for economic growth and prosperity around the world.

Girls and boys who go to school, learn to read, write, count, live healthy lives and will provide a better future for their families. Also in school, they learn the importance of respecting and supporting one another and ways to interact that foster growth, not fear or suppression. The benefit is an exponential one and those reverberations are what lead to more growth throughout the world.

Nearly 70 years ago, when this important day was proclaimed, Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home -- so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. [...] Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world."

At WAGE, it is in these small places that we have hope that we can be part of the growth, one word at a time. One such way is through mentoring programs. Please stay tuned for an upcoming project we are working on in Asbury Park.

--Heather Mistretta

#StandUp4HumanRights

https://youtu.be/5RR4VXNX3jA

Be A Man: Stand Up, Speak Up, Show Up for Women & Girls

It may come as a surprise that I volunteer my time advocating for women’s rights. After all, I am a busy teenager busy with work, a full school schedule and sports. However, my interest began over discussions at the dinner table. In 2013 my mother told me about a book she read, “I am Malala”. This story about a girl’s fight for her right to an education really packed a punch with me. Besides learning about the history and politics in Pakistan, I am now a believer in the power of one person’s voice to inspire change in the world. My eyes were opened of how much I take for granted every day: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the fact that I attend one of the best schools in the area.

Men, there is no way gender equality can be achieved without our involvement. Your sisters, mothers, aunts and women around the world are depending on us. We must come together to change our biased world.

So what can we do? I once read that equality is a verb. I love that. Encourage, share, advocate, and intervene. Expose yourself to different perspectives than your own. If you are serious about change, lead by example. Model respect for women. Don’t condone sexist jokes or stories. If you witness an injustice, be bold and say something. Avoid any behavior that causes anyone to feel diminished. Speak out when you witness others behaving this way. 

This fall WAGE will be holding our annual 5K fundraiser. Come on out and support us in our mission to empower girls and women.

Men should want equality for all as much as women do. Improving women’s standards benefits everyone, not just women and girls. Everyone has a role in advocating: men, women, moms, dads, teachers, neighbors and leaders. Let’s banish harmful stereotypes and support human rights of all people, everywhere.

Matthew Meyer, age 18
 

Books, not blood

Nearly 11.5% of the Syrian population has been wounded or killed since “The Day of Rage” on March 15, 2011, when peaceful protests were met with violent military action. It has been called the worst humanitarian crisis since World War II. 

One obvious casualty of the conflict has been the displacement of 7.6 million people. Out of fear and a strong sense of survival they are fleeing their homeland for safety in Germany, Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, Iraq and the U.S. among others. It has been estimated that about 10 thousand refugees are in the U.S., with more than 300 in New Jersey.

But as we read and see the horrific stories about victims of violence, we realize that another profound casualty of the war for Syrian children is education. 

In a country where an estimated 97% of primary school-aged children were attending class and literacy rates surpassed those of most nations at over 90%, books have been replaced with blood, and schools for military sites. Teachers have fled or been killed. The once thriving school system has been pummeled by ignorance, shattered by fear.

Curricula that once included liberal arts, sciences and math are now replaced with how to load a machine gun and how to kill as ISIS pillages their way across the Middle East, forcing their ideals on others. Today, 2.2 million are not in school at all, and it has been estimated that an additional half a million refugee children are not in school.

This is even more upsetting for women who have been brutally targeted during this conflict, with rape and what has been called “survival sex” often used as a weapon of war and marriage at an early age seen as a desperate attempt at survival and human trafficking running rampant. 

And then there are the many parents who are not willing to endanger their daughters by allowing them to travel to school or are facing the imperative prospect of swallowing their pride and finding employment of any kind even though they may be accountants, professors or software engineers. 

Exacerbated by traditional gender roles and inequalities that cause parental prejudice against girls’ education, Syrian girls ending up a high risk of dropping out of school is one of the devastating consequences of the nearly six-year conflict.

Although the future looks bleak for many of these refuges, there is hope. I recently read about one mother’s harrowing story of courage. Absent of resentment, the mother of seven who lives temporarily in a camp in Jordan, told a reporter that she has not given up and believes that “the future belongs to girls who are educated.” 

For another young Syrian woman named Yusra Mardini, her courage and determination to survive also outweighed her fear. A few years ago her future looked so bright, but after being displaced from her home with her family, nearly drowning in the Mediterranean and feeling hunger pangs that most will never feel, Yusra faced her fears head on. As their boat sank, she and her sister jumped into the sea and swam for three hours to push it to safety, saving 20 lives. Young Yusra continued to defy the odds once settling in a refugee camp in Germany. She had a goal in mind and met it, one lap at a time. She wound up working so hard that she garnered a spot at the Rio Olympics as a swimmer on the first-ever Olympic refugee team. 

And thankfully there are many stories of bravery. Right here in the United States people are also helping, some of whom remember the stories their grandparents told them of the Holocaust. Feeling a sense of responsibility or hoping to stem the tide of violence, some families are sponsoring Syrian families by helping them gain access to food, get the education their children need and overall assimilate into a culture very different from their own.

Education is the sustainable solution to ensuring these children have brighter futures. It not only provides them with the knowledge they need and crave, it also gives them the structure they need as well as the tools needed to be empowered to overcome their insurmountable challenges and NOT be victims.

Just as we teach the hungry how to plant crops and reap them for food, the only sustainable solution, we believe, to preventing violence against women is education. No matter where their home may be, most children have a thirst for knowledge, not a vengeance to facilitate violence and draw blood. And no matter what they face, education will be something that can never be taken away from them.

I write of atrocities happening thousands of miles away, but right in our backyards the same or similar violence, disrespect and suppression of confidence and spirit is also happening, clearly on a smaller scale and often going unrecognized or being masked by a flawed justice system and a perpetuated mindset that leads some women to feel they have no voice. 

As refugees muster any courage they have and struggle to survive, we thankfully do see glimmers of hope in the face of such atrocities. And perhaps this is what gives those humanitarians who work tirelessly and courageously to have the hope they need to continue. 

Heather Mistretta

"A Christmas Present" by Rekha Datta

On a brisk, sunny Saturday December morning, a group of young volunteers of a student club called ‘Students Advocating Girls’ Education’ (SAGE) donned orange reflector vests, directional cones, grabbed some hot cocoa and enthusiastically engaged in setting the course for the Second Annual 5K Race for Girls’ Education. The sun struggled to outdo the overnight frost, gold, blue and green balloons fluttered in the clod air, and the event loudspeaker played energizing music selected by the young minds to bring on early morning cheer. The beauty of unity in diversity was in action.

Only a few weeks back, many, including some of these youngsters were struggling to find their place and voice in the post-election America, and indeed, the world. Just like the rest of the country, friends and family found themselves at opposite ends of a fractious debate surrounding their electoral choices. It was in that emotional setting that we decided to have the race, to engage in community building, to think beyond our narrow interests and selves and to continue believe in helping others. The annual 5K, which they had started a year ago, and which kept getting postponed due to logistical challenges, would be a perfect way to celebrate our unity, to pivot, regardless of how the political process posited us against each other.

Given that term papers were due, finals were looming, December temperatures were intimidating, the turnout was expectedly low; however, the enthusiasm and generosity of spirit of those who braved everything and participated in the race were indomitable. Again, the thought that everyone was keeping their immediate cares aside and got together to help raise funds for education of underprivileged girls in local community was inspiring. It was only a couple of years ago when the founder of SAGE, after attending a meeting of the newly formed not for profit group, Women and Girls’ Education (WAGE) International, was inspired to form the student wing to promote education as an antidote to violence. WAGE and SAGE work with community partners to find alternatives to violence using education as a tool. They offer mentorship and resources to children and adolescents in communities that face adversity and violence. The proceeds of the 5K would help them in this mission, and support a local school.

United under this mission, overcoming political fractures, the walkers, runners, and organizers gathered under the morning sun, bundled up in their winter outdoors gear. As the first whistle marked the beginning of the race, it did not matter that the participants might have different political stripes, might be worshiping different Gods and Goddesses or no God at all, spoke different languages, represented different ethnic and racial groups. Everyone put up their brave fronts, but was obviously cold. Except for the winner of the race, who chose to run in shorts and a sleeveless vest, others were united in their vulnerability to the elements. The weather brought us close; we shared camaraderie.

Through this microcosm of experience in a community activity, it became clear how much we share in commonality in spite of our differences. Through our diversity, we enjoyed our unity of purpose, of our shared experience braving the cold, our common belief in doing out small parts in bringing about small changes, positive ones in someone’s life. When we do something for others, we are actually helping ourselves.

This Christmas morning, the first people I thought of praying for were my family. Next I prayed for my friends. Then the migrant children displaced over the last few years in violence.  I was thankful for those who found friendly homes around the world. Then the order and priority of those prayers got all jumbled up. Children facing violence have been on my mind since the wee hours. Restless, I reached out for the book that my daughter bought for me, and a line grabbed me. The book begins with a violent bomb blast in a busy market in New Delhi, taking the lives of two young siblings. Not something you would want to cherish on this holy morning of merriment and joy. Yet the reality of the fiction and the beauty of the language and the humanity behind it all haunted me. Through the morning stillness of the morning, children facing violence overwhelmed me.

I have been struggling to put words to my feelings to write this column for weeks. There seemed too much negativity, hostility, violence in thought and action, demonization of groups of people, doubts on shared humanity, the list goes on and on. I have struggled to find my voice. This morning it seemed to be coming back to me. Those who I work with through SAGE and WAGE, bring me a sliver, however thin, of hope, of belief. Magically, as I read the book and reflected on an apparently unexplainable world, I found a connection between our recent 5K and the fictionalized reality of the violent world that we live in. A world in which our commonality matters, our common humanity matters. Yes, we all bleed when pricked, this earth and its resources belong to all of us, regardless of what language and in whose name or under what documentation we claim them. We are all immigrants visiting and living on this earth for a few decades. In this shared destiny, we can only know how life is for everyone when we have learned how it is to live in others’ shoes. Our individual successes give us personal security, but we also have to survive as a collective. Aristotle had reminded us we are all political animals. We need each other. We cease to be human when we stop to care. The line where I stopped before I put the book aside and reached out for my laptop to write this blog was, “I just remembered something you said when we first talked. That your pain only went away when you started thinking about others.” – Karan Mahajan (2016).

December 4, 2016. SAGE organized a 5K walk-run to benefit girls’ education at Monmouth University, West Long Branch, New Jersey.