By Lenien Jamir
Believe
Believing in yourself can be easier said than done for many. In today’s digital age, one is exposed to “extra-ordinary” people that seem ‘richer’, ‘smarter’, ‘prettier’, or ‘luckier,’ and this could impact one’s self esteem, making it difficult to back yourself and have faith that things will fall into place. Compared to all others, one’s life may seem so much more difficult and challenging. You start questioning why and often; there is no compelling answer.
A lot of people could give better advice on this, but I genuinely do not know the answer and being the pessimist I am, I know such advice will not go through until I convince myself of it first. Yes, I must accept and believe in it first before I even think of its application. Growing up I have learnt that a great strategy is to draw inspiration from peers, mentors, family, and friends. Mind you, these are not those “extra-ordinary” people but are ordinary people who do extraordinary things every day. Knowing them, I try to convince myself that if they could pull it off, I probably can too and that’s how I push myself.
Coming from Nagaland
To begin with, I am an average indigenous girl from a middle-class family in a tucked away part of India that not many (including Indians) really know much about and who somehow made it all the way to the United States on a full ride. Ethnically, I belong to the Ao Naga tribe from a small landlocked mountainous state called Nagaland. If you look at the map, you will notice that Nagaland is to the east of Nepal, Bhutan and Bangladesh and borders with Myanmar on the west. That’s the reason I look different.
Education, Tennis and Quitting
Two huge concepts about my life are education and tennis, and they essentially describe my life here in the U.S. too. My parents wanted me to play a sport and be athletic, and that’s how I started playing tennis when I was six-years old. Thanks to all the support, I enjoyed it (and hated it too sometimes), I got good (won some, lost some), and started to take it seriously. I was and probably will remain a nerd at heart, so while I loved my studies, tennis added greater depth to my personality and taught me so many more life lessons that I hold so dear. Throughout my school years, I played competitive tennis but after the ninth grade, I was weary and wanted to stop. My pessimism - disguised in the form of realism - took over and told myself I should quit while I’m ahead as I was never actually going to be able to do something of value with tennis. So, I quit. Yes, I gave it all up.
Being Realistic and Falling on Family
I missed tennis, but I couldn’t get myself to start playing again without a “realistic” purpose or goal. I was leaving high school and looking for colleges now and this made me realize that there were opportunities to study abroad through tennis. As a teenager, I was always into western culture (mainly through music) and I always dreamt of experiencing life in the western world. But realistically (I know, here’s that word again – it’s my favorite word), I knew it was expensive and beyond our family’s reach, and that’s when I started to seriously consider college tennis. Fortunately, my parents (and sister) have always supported and pushed me to be my best self, and that is important. Their support not only backed my aspirations but helped me focus on my ambitious plans, and so in order to help me chase my dream of playing college tennis in the U.S., they decided to translocate me to a tennis academy in a city more than 2,000 miles away.
Independence, responsibility and perseverance
I had never been away from home, and so it was a confusing transition, especially in a country like India where each state is almost a whole new country. Being in a new place was not the only challenge; the climate was completely different; the food was worlds apart and the cultural habits were alien to me. However, this move was amongst the most pivotal decision of my life too. Being away taught me to be independent and helped me mature as a person. I also had to deal with all the social anxiety of not just being an 18-year-old but to also carry the pressure of my entire future depending on whether I could execute near-perfect control over a little green ball in the court. It was during these two years that I also competed in most of the International Tennis Federation tournaments across Asia and Africa. While all this may sound dramatic, it really wasn’t at the time.
As an independent young adult, I had only two options now. To make it and be happy or to fail. The failure part was scary as that would mean I would have successfully wasted three years of an extremely crucial period of my life, wasted a lot of my parents’ money and fallen miles behind my peers. I will not lie; I did think of giving up a few times, deciding to cut my losses and go back home and focus on my academics (which I was good at), but I never followed through. I knew I had a responsibility, not only to my parents but to myself, and the onus was on me to persist and persevere.
Keep the Faith and Be Thankful
I had to keep my faith and believe in myself. Talking with my friends about their struggles really inspired me, but most importantly, I saw the belief and faith that my family had in me. When I didn’t believe in myself, I drew hope from theirs. It was the tough times that forced me to dig deep and find the gratitude within myself. This is important as it is the toughest part; this is where I had to allow myself to make mistakes and fail and be proud of myself for not giving up.
The Reward
After a tough two years of hard training, research for institutions in U.S., appearing for the SATs and the applications (to countless colleges), and numerous offers, I finally chose Monmouth University, NJ and am now in the Monmouth Hawks women’s tennis team. I was ecstatic to get a full ride to an American institution. I had made history in some ways as the first Naga girl to receive an athletic scholarship. My parents were proud and so was my community. Most importantly, I felt a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment that made it worth every drop of sweat and tears spend over the years.
Inspire and Be Inspired
I have a long way to go, but if there’s one thing that has really helped me throughout my teenage years, it is to find inspiration in small things--be it listening to songs and feeling the wind on your face, seeing your peers struggle and succeed, seeing plants bloom or birds fly, or the anecdotes from your mentors, be inspired. Writing this blog entry (by the way, this is my first ever blog) by itself is really inspiring me, and if there is one thing, I would like anyone to take away from my story, it is this. If I - an indigenous Ao Naga girl from an extreme underdeveloped corner of India - could do it, trust me, so can you. And ‘it’ could mean anything! Finishing school, learning a new language, changing your environment, striving to have a better life, connecting with yourself, or even just simply not giving up. I believe that we must all live not just to be inspired but to inspire as well. I hope I did.